Things I Have Learnt Today

The NZ Herald news has taught me a lot today.

• The first thing that the news has taught me, is not to jump 18 metres into freezing cold water whilst heinously drunk.
• The second thing that the news has taught me today, is that viewing pr0n at work at work's request is still not a good idea.
• The third thing that that I learnt from the news is that all humans are bastards.
• The fourth thing the news taught me, is that the NZ Police are as retarded as Gawy.
• The final thing I learnt from the news today, is that I'm not the only one who suffered from random memory loss last weekend...